So, I’ve had some recent unexpected drama that really turned my emotions upside down. I felt like I got slapped in the face emotionally by someone close to me, with whom I was trying to mend a longtime absence.
When it happened, it caught me by surprise because people don’t usually catch me by surprise. I deal with a plethora of different personalities from all walks of life in my job. I know very well how best to handle people who zap the energy right out of you, and this still caught me by surprise.
So when this person, did what they did, it brought up old hurts that had long since been forgotten. I did feel in the beginning of the downward spiral there was another lesson, of some sort, for me to learn. However, as things began to deteriorate I soon began to realize when two people are involved, both must be williing to bend, to accommodate the other and not be focused solely on their own feelings.
You see, I’m a type A personality. I feel like my gift to the world is to “fix’ things. Perhaps the lesson to be learned from this interchange was that some things which are broken, are not my responsibility. I didn’t cause the brokenness, and it’s not my chore to mend it.
Sometimes, we just have to let go. Let go of our need to make amends. Let go of the desire to set things straight. Let go of all of it and not try to hold onto our goal of making a “go” of things that are way beyond our human capability.
You see, the only person we can ever “fix” is ourselves and sometimes we need the courage to accept the things we cannot change. It doesn’t mean we have to like it. It doesn’t mean we have to pretend it never happened. It doesn’t mean that at all. In fact, it is perfectly ok to just let something die. Sometimes, the task is just to sit with the pain and consciously give it to God and do the next right thing. Move on, let go, get your peace back. If possible take time out from your day and just meditate on all the good things in your life. Give the pain and frustration to God.
If we don’t let things go between loved ones, it continues to fester emotional bacteria that will eat away at our peace and sanity. Sometimes, people just aren’t sane, and that ok. It’s not our job to repair everything and everyone.
It takes great courage to let go of resentments and anger especially if it is a loved one who hurts us. It takes us learning to not blame ourselves for someone else’s inconsiderateness and insensivity. We have to love ourselves even when we have given it our all, under difficult circumstances, and we have failed.
Sometimes, there just isn’t a participation trophy in life. Sometimes we don’t get rewarded for trying to help someone. Sometimes it hurts us more to try and help, than it hurts the other person when they don’t get what they need. Sometimes others want things we simply, can’t give them.
Mother of two grown children. One daughter, living in Denver. One son, who lives in Los Angeles and works in the movie industry. One beautiful and bright grandson!
Dog Mom to 3 year old Silky Terrier named, Addison and 16 week old Adler. One is a mamma’s girl and the other is a hellion!
Writing is a gift. I have no idea where it came from. Seriously addicted to telling stories and words and phrases are some of my favorite things.
Raised with horses. If they could bottle horse hair, manure, leather and dust, I’d wear it as a cologne.
Studied art in college and still paint in my spare time.
Very, very eternally grateful for YIN Yoga. It is the air I breathe.
There is nothing better for the soul than a walk in the forest. Love to hike and snowshoe. Much of my inspiration comes from nature.
“Of all the roads you take in life, make sure one of them includes dirt.” John Steinbeck
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