My Authentic Self

How many things or ideas describe you? How do others describe you? How do you desire to be thought of by those around you?

There are so many aspects of ourselves that we spend our lives discovering. Then, surprisingly, we occasionally meet someone who brings out our best, and we discover even more virtues. But then others seem to, bring out the worst in us. And, again we discover the shadows of ourselves. And surprisingly, sometimes, even our worst is our best and our best, is someone else’s worst. What describes us one moment, could very well, be the one trait we most want to portray.

Just as no 2 flowers are exactly the same, even though they may be the same species, so are we. Each created to flourish individually. All human, but each with different, traits, characteristics, flaws and foibles.

Recently I was hiking in the mountains with a friends and we found an old, falling down, abandoned log cabin. Framed in old barn wood, on a clear day, the photo of me below was taken in a raincoat, no eye makeup and hair in a clip. In jest, my appearance, to me, resembles the old, rotted out barn. Weathered with age, but still beautiful in it’s own patina. Weathered barn wood is a prized possession. Framer’s search for it. Crafters crave it. Only age and time can weather a slab of wood into a masterpiece. So, I guess, I’m just beginning to write my masterpiece upon this one life that I’ve been given. Forging ahead. Leaving behind the new and shiny version of me and opting for a genuine degree of contentment as I age. I know I am now capable of many things. Others, not so much, but at least those things I am poor at, I learned by first, giving it a good ole college try. Growth, age, maturity. Authentic, no makeup, dirty hair, yet filled with genuine love, appreciation and contentment. Those are all the things I want to be. And sometimes, it takes looking at your naked face in the mirror to see all those desired traits.

I decided to use this photo as my new “headshot” for social media. A dear friend made the most lovely comment. “I just love this picture of you. It captures the absolute essence of you, imo.” I was so flattered and it made me think, what words would I use to describe myself. The part of me, known only to me? What about the part of me I want my family to remember me? What about others? What about God?

For many years, even decades, I used to do Botox and fillers. I wore fancy clothes, makeup, hair and jewelry. I used to think material things identified me. But, they don’t, and they never did. My spirit, my love, my right to exist are what define me, and each and every one of us.

We all know our personalities and traits are as varied as sands in the hourglass. What a delight it is to awaken to some of our best and worst traits and those of others. How fun is it to laugh with an old friend who brightens your workday. Or, sit with a family member who has lost someone. Or brainstorm with a colleague. All of these individual traits we all possess, are at times, the same feelings and desires that those around us seem to encompass as well. But, we are all different. All human, but the combination of certain gifts and talents, can be endlessly combined in different ways just as each of our own fingerprints are unique.

I would venture to say, that each of us strive in similar ways, but we take different paths. Some walk, some ride, some fly. In the end we are all generally given the same opportunities to succeed as well as to fail. And it is the strengths we exhibit on our individual paths, that may very well describe us best.

For me, I want to be remembered for my superpower of being able to ask questions. To explore my curiosity. To forge new ideas and ways of thinking that bring healing to me and to others. I want to inspire, to give and to receive with graciousness. I want to guide and to lead, and to make a beautiful ripple on this watery planet we call Earth.

Have I discovered yet what He created me to do? To be? Am I living the life He intended for me? Perhaps, if I truly followed the path I was supposed to follow, in the end He will say to me, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”